Today, New Year’s Eve, my dad walked out on us.
He’ll be back, I know. It wasn’t the first and I know it won’t be the last. You see he lost his job. He is worried for our future. He is venting all his anger on us.
I remember my father as a very strict and frugal man. He never spoiled us but he made sure we were well provided for. Growing up, I always thought he was more of a provider and less of a father.
I remember this one time when he said if I went to a certain university for college I would get a car. I said yes in a heartbeat thinking of the car. It was only after I graduated that I realized that the main reason why he bribed me was because my other options were too far from home.
I remember this one time when I bought my own pair of shoes and being so resentful at him because I had to save up for it while my classmates’ parents bought it for them.
I remember this time when my sister got pregnant and he said our family had to live separately. He sent my mom and sister away and when they went home unexpectedly my father got angry instead of opening his arms wide open.
I remember this time when he sent us to US to spend our summer. I didn’t think much of it and thought that that was what normal people do during the summer.
I remember always having a birthday party growing up. I thought that was expected. I thought parents had to throw their children the best parties every year.
I remember a very special Christmas when Santa dropped by our home, ate our cookies and left us gifts with letters.
I remember a lot of things I seemingly took for granted and now that I’m much older, I remember all of it with a heavy heart. A lot has changed but one thing I wish is that I got to knew him for who he truly is. I wish I understood him a lot more and appreciated all his efforts. So today, as he walked out on us, I remember all of this and await his return.