Blog
comments 12

Hi, let me unfriend you, please

Let me tell you a story about the time I unfriended someone on Facebook and he found out.

I knew this guy since I was in high school. Back then we weren’t really close. We were acquaintances. He was best friends with my closest girl friend.

We went to the same college and somehow, by some twisted fate, we became best friends. I didn’t really consider him my best friend but I let him call me as his. I didn’t really care. We lived in the same village which made my daily commute a lot better since I had a guy with me. I was a scared little girl and I didn’t like commuting alone.

During our commutes, oddly enough, he sometimes held my hand. Until now, I honestly don’t know why he did that. Maybe he was making a move on me? I highly doubted that since he liked this common friend of ours. I don’t even know why I’m including that detail in this post but it’s a fun detail to include, lol.

Anyway, he now lives and works in Singapore. He sometimes comes home and we’d meet up. It’s never that often and I always go to our meet-ups not because I wanted to but because I felt I had to.

He was a close friend back then. Someone I’d consider sharing my personal secrets and stories with but that was back then. Now, eleven years after I first entered college, he is nothing but a mere memory. We don’t chat that often. He doesn’t know the newest and juiciest detail in my life. I don’t know any details about him too.

I am a different person now. I am more selective of my friends. I only reach out to people who I feel want to have a relationship with me too. I don’t like wasting time.

When I unfriended him, I knew that he was a different person too. He had a different life abroad and I was here living my own life. I unfriended him because of the fact that we had grown apart and that we weren’t going to get closer anymore.

People change.

Last Christmas, he asked me why I unfriended him. I told him that I did so because I’m into minimalism and I read that we have too many friends on Facebook but they’re with people who you don’t even know. They’re just your friends online but if you see them in person, you can’t even talk to them.

Our conversation was getting awkward and I ended up adding him as a friend again.

He has yet to accept my friend request.

TL;DR: I unfriended a previously close friend on Facebook, he found out, I sent him a friend request, he has yet to accept it.

The lesson of this story: I don’t regret unfriending him. We obviously grew apart. When I stated the obvious, we were put in a situation where we could rekindle our friendship or grow apart further. He has chosen the latter. It is true, I could try a little harder to try and be friends again but I’d rather not. I like to keep my world simple and fuss free.

Don’t be afraid to unfriend people thinking they might find out. Unfriend people so you can focus more on the people who really matter in your life. Keep your friends list simple yet personal.

12 Comments

  1. This was exactly what happened between me and people I knew from college. It is still poignant when I remember it, but as they say – the only constant thing in this world is change itself.

    • Agreed. I actually feel bad knowing I moved on but somehow some people still think I haven’t changed…

      • Well, he moved to the US to go to go to college and then to Italy after we would meet up if he was home at summer and we’d text/Skype weekly then he moved back to the UK a few years ago, got married, had a baby and gradually contact from him stopped, after about 2 years of no contact, I deleted him from my Facebook, he questioned when he noticed a few months later then he blocked me and hasn’t spoken to me since!!

  2. I had to do this to an ex a few years ago and they eventually found out. Granted that I hardly ever saw them in person in the years after we broke up, I do know he’s now happily married with a kid. He still wanted to be chummy, but to be blunt he didn’t need to be part of my life anymore. It came to the point that he even messaged me on FB asking if I unfriended him. Obviously if you can’t check my profile or see any of my posts on your feed. I just ignored it and he’s been out of my space since. Thank goodness.

  3. We have all been there when it comes to this stage of minimalism. It’s hard, but it feels good knowing that you are doing something that is good for your soul and you’re not just hanging on because of what people may think.

    Follow my NEW blog gypsyminimalist.com or follow me on instagram @gypsyminimalist! Thanks 🙂 ~Sydney Kate | Gypsy Minimalist

  4. Cancel friend request and block! Lol… seriously, though. I go through purges all the time also because I’m into minimalism. I have people that I can’t really unfriend (family- it’d be rude) so I hide them instead. But yes, if I haven’t commented on your things in a while, you haven’t commented on mine then there’s no point in that person taking up valuable real estate on my friends list. Haha, just joking I know it’s really not that serious.

    I like to keep my friend list less than 100 people that I actually interact with (except the hidden from my timeline family). I also hide people who make me feel inferior through no fault of their own, just my own insecurities. Who goes on social media to feel unhappy? That’s your place! Make it what you want 🙂

    • You know what! I will cancel my friend request and block him, who needs people like that? LOL.

      My friends list is less than a 100 too and it’s the best decision I’ve had on Facebook! No need to like or comment on posts from people you barely know!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *