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Kat’s 5 Steps on How to Cope with Negativity

Professionally, 2015 was my lowest year. I was full of bad energy because I got jealous of my officemates who got promoted. It’s not my proudest moment but I’m glad I went through it. It made me a different person, a better person. I would like to share with you how I coped with negativity and hopefully it can inspire/guide you in whatever you might be going through.

1 – Accept things as they are

When I first found out that others were promoted, I was shocked and I instantly felt jealous. I felt like they didn’t deserve it. I had a million theories on why they were chosen but never once did I think that they really deserve it.

What I should’ve done: Congratulate them. Accept the fact that they got promoted and I didn’t. The moment that I felt like it would become something negative, I should’ve just raised my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn’t care.

2 – Stop talking about it

There was a lot of back stabbing that happened. It was definitely not the healthiest especially after we kept on feeding off of each other’s negativity.

What I should’ve done: Stayed away from negative people. No matter how much bad I felt, it is never okay to talk behind other people’s back. It is unhealthy and downright disrespectful. Nothing good ever resulted from our constant “sessions.” All we did was create more animosity in our workplace.

3 – Surround yourself with positive people

I decided to waste a lot of months with the aforementioned officemates. Every chance we’d get we would talk negatively. Mike tried his best to keep me positive but no matter how much he tried, I choose to be negative.

What I should’ve done: You are who your friends are. I should’ve remembered that line and expected more from myself. I should’ve just stayed away or kept interaction at a minimum. I feel deeply embarrassed writing this all down but at the same time I feel proud of myself because I know that everything I went through made me a better person.

4 – Get an adult’s help

It wasn’t until the latter part of last year did I decide to talk to an adult about my problem. Of course the adult I was referring to is Mike. (Did I tell you we have a six year age difference?) Anyway, his mature thinking helped a lot. It is also important to have an open mind. Talking to somebody is only half the solution, the other half is still up to you.

What I should’ve done: Well, I should’ve done this from the start. There’s a saying in the Philippines that old people always tell the younger generation: “Papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako.” It basically means they know what’s best because they already went through it. Most of the time, adults know best. Listen and take a cue from them.

5 – Turn the negative into positive

I was so consumed by the negativity that I didn’t have the chance to look at the other side of the coin. I wasted almost a year of my life harboring ill feelings.

What I should’ve done: Look at things from a different perspective and try to make it work for me. It’s okay to feel jealous it’s natural, but I shouldn’t have let it take over me completely. I wasted time and destroyed a few relationships along the way because of it.

Writing all of this down makes me feel ashamed, especially talking behind my friend’s backs. That disastrous year has lost me good friends but in turn, I have gained maturity and a new way at looking things. I will take the positive from this and look as the past year was a learning year for me. I feel like I am a much better person, I hope I am.

11 Comments

    • Thanks Kally! I also want to thank you since part of how I coped was by reading office related articles online, hello Middle Me 😉

  1. Great advice especially to turn it into a positive. I see a lot of people unhappy and I know that negativity would be great motivation

    • Thank you! It took me a while to turn it into something positive but it was surely worth the wait! 🙂

  2. Thank you so much Lisa! I got the promotion and it feels so good knowing that I have grown up before getting it. It feels like I really deserve it. 🙂

  3. Pingback: January Highlights! | Kat

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