Blog, Coffee Time
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Let’s have coffee

Hey, guys! How long has it been since our last coffee date? My blog says it’s been more than a month! Looking back at our last coffee date, a lot of things have changed. How time really flies!

If we were having coffee, that trip I was talking to you about was a success. I already posted my thoughts on spending eight days alone with my boyfriend and by the looks of it, you guys can just imagine how happy the whole trip was! I am still unsure on how to share with you our pictures because we went to so many places and each place has its own charm. I want to properly share and document the experience but with hundreds of pictures, it’s kind of a daunting task!

If we were having coffee, I have to update you on our wedding planning! GUYS IT’S ONLY THREE AND A HALF MONTHS BEFORE THE BIG DAY. I am getting a little stressed because the bridechilla in me went chill and totally forgot about all the other requirements! Now, we have to rush a bit and all our weekends are cramped as cramped can be!

We’re also planning to have a gift registry at SM (of course). We tried to select some items the past weekend and oh-my-goodness I am overwhelmed. How can there be a million types of pans? We couldn’t even agree on the kitchen utensils! It’s such a funny experience. On a serious note, I do hope our guests would pick from the registry because we really need it! Do you guys want to give me gifts? I’d accept it! 😛

If we were having coffee, I’d be honest and tell you that the real reason why I wanted to have a coffee date is that I need to vent out a little. We went to North Cemetery the other day (October 29) and I was driving. The roads inside the cemetery were packed with people and cars. There was this one eskinita where 2 cars were parked on both sides of the road. The cars weren’t parked alongside each other but instead one was ahead of the other. (I hope you guys can visualize it!) The challenge was to drive diagonally to not hit any of the cars. It was a tight squeeze and I was not going to be foolish and do anything stupid until one of the car owners moved their cars. One of the car owners finally moved his car a bit and I said I was going to try and get through. I rolled down my window and to my surprise one fucking idiot said “ah kaya pala, babae nagmamaneho.” To which I wanted to shout back “kaya mo ba bumili ng sasakyan ko at papadaanin mo ako sa ganyan ka sikip eh pwede naman ayusin yung parking?” But I didn’t.

That’s not the end of it.

I alighted the car because my brother said he’d park it. I was standing there minding my own business when all of a sudden people were eyeing and making remarks about me. There was even this group of guys who eyed me real bad and started calling for their other friends to look at me. Before you say I’m so full of myself, let me tell you, that this is the price I pay for having a lighter complexion than most Filipinos and looking very Chinese. It’s not a price I want to pay.

What I couldn’t fathom from that day was how I, as a woman, was looked down upon. Just because I am a female driver, doesn’t mean I am incapable of driving in a small street. Just because I am a woman, doesn’t mean men could look at me for their pleasure. My inner feminazi was triggered.

After some time, I realized I couldn’t hate my fellow Filipinos (those same men who looked down on me) for their small minds. They are living in a cemetery. Most of them are uneducated. Most of them have lived their lives without knowing about the concept of feminism. The reality sunk in. As much as there are educated Filipinos, there is still a majority of uneducated ones! The gap between the two is too great that I don’t think it can be resolved easily.

*starts writing in Tagalog to fully explain herself*

Nakakalungkot lang yung nangyari sa akin sa sementeryo. Naging biktima ako dahil babae ako. Pero hindi yun yung naging issue ko – ang naging major issue ko talaga eh yung laki nung gap ng Pilipino. Isipin mo nasa Maynila kami pareho pero ako alam ko dapat respetuhin ang mga babae, sila generalized o objectified lagi. Alam mo yun? Parang nasa isang region kami pero ibang iba ang paguugali. Sila naiwan na sa lumang panahon tapos ako, siguro ikaw din na nagbabasa nito, ang progressive na natin. Yung pinaglalaban natin, ibang iba sa pinaglalaban nila. Nakakalungkot lang din kasi may parte sa akin na naaawa sa kanila. Kasi stuck na sila sa ganon unless maawa sa kanila yung mga self serving na pulitiko. Sila worry nila yung pagkain nila at titirahan at pera, tapos tayo mga trivial na bagay like depression or yung mga socialites (hindi trivial yung depression pero kung ikokompara mo dun sa problema nila, diba ang liit tignan).

Ang laki masyado nung gap. Paano kaya liliit yun? 

Naniniwala ako na edukasyon ang makakasagot nito. Kung magkaroon ang gobyerno ng solid na edukasyon para sa lahat ng Pilipino, kaya natin paliitin yung gap. Pero kailan kaya natin mararating iyon? Kailan kaya magiging for the people ulit yung gobyerno natin?

*starts writing in English again ’cause she’s sosyal*

HA – HA – HA

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I love the Philippines so much. I do what I can to help it in my personal way. My methods don’t seem enough for the rest because it’s passive. Some people say I should be more aggressive and voice out my opinions about the government. Truth is, whichever government there is or was, no one has proven to me that they have put the country and the people first. They are all a bunch of self-serving politicians. Sometimes, no, all the time we have to settle for those who at least try to do something for us. It’s such an ugly culture. I wonder when the Philippines will wake up?

I hope you have a great week ahead! See you in the comments section. <3

15 Comments

  1. Because she’s sosyal. Hahaha. Hay nako, Ate. Nakakainis talaga ‘yang mga rason na “ah babae kasi.” Kakainis. Props to you for not shouting back those words kahit na deserve niya kasi kups siyang tao. HMP

  2. “I pay for having a lighter complexion than most Filipinos and looking very Chinese.” this sucks, ate. I had the opposite experience naman. During highschool everyone calls me the “chinita” or the “japanese girl” BUT “sunog nga lang” lmao I love my color and my eyes. I don’t fucking care about them. About the culture, the more I learned about K and J culture, I feel more indifferent with ours and it’s sad because I’m a Filipino but I’m starting to get hopeless of change. 🙁 How do we send you gifts, tho? Hehe

    • Diba! Minsan tuloy naiisip ko kakaiba kultura nating Pilipino…parang may mali. Although I can’t pinpoint what exactly. When I went to Japan sobrang nadisappoint ako sa kultura (at lahat na) natin. Parang bakit hindi tayo ganon huhu.

      If you buy me gifts, I’ll meet up with you LOL mukha akong regalo hahahaha 😛

  3. Oh, guuuurl. I commend your strength because if that were me, I would have totally engaged and cursed them to hell and back. I’ve been in that situation where I was criticized for being a female driver and people were quick to mock me tapos sa sobrang yamot ko, umapak ako sa gas ng bonggang bongga, pinalakasan ko yung sounds ko, then humarurot ako paalis while simultaneously cursing their asses. Hahahaha

    • It took a lot out of me to do that. Unfamiliar territory din kasi baka imbes na maka-alis kami in one piece magka-issue pa! Grabe lang talaga!

  4. Hi Kat!
    It has been so long, but it is good to see that you are staying busy and also chill as your wedding day approaches. I think that less stress is best. Enjoy the process as much as you can. Although I know that there are lots of details to attend to. Are you getting married in a church? Having lots of guests? Or something small and intimate?
    I can totally relate to you and your sentiments around driving through tight spaces. I think you did a Damn good job! I try to avoid tight spaces at all costs and even park further away if it means I don’t have to be too close to other cars. I hate that people stereotype women. I am also a light-skinned Filipino and a lot of my Chinese friends have been telling me that I look Chinese. But I tan in the summer time and a few Americans have told me that I am a very dark Filipino. I find it amusing to get both ends of the spectrum.
    I cannot believe that we are swiftly approaching the end of 2017! Where did the time go?!?! I was very sick for about a month and have still been trying to recover. This put me behind in school this quarter which has been stressful. I am just trying to make it through fall quarter which ends in about 3 weeks. Then hopefully winter quarter will be better for me.
    Take care and talk soon!

    <3 Alana xoxoxo

    • Hey Alana!! We’re having a church wedding! I wanted an intimate wedding but he has lots of relatives in the province he wanted to invite so the number just grew bigger haha! I’m so excited to get married but not too excited about the wedding itself. 😀

      I’ve been reading your blog and saw that you’ve been sick. 🙁 I hope you’re feeling better and you catch up on exercise, school, and everything else! I can’t believe 2017 is almost over I remember you and I both started this year trying to lose weight hahaha!

      • Hi Kat!
        What a wonderful reason to come together and celebrate. Church weddings are beautiful and your day will be here before you know it 🙂

        Yeah, it has been such a stressful time. It felt like my body shut down on me, but now I am finally on the mend. Yes, we both wanted to lose weight this year. Hahaha. I didn’t do very well with that goal so I will need to carry it over to next year. I won’t give up until I get to a healthy weight. My health depends on it.

        I hope you will have a wonderful weekend. Always nice to chat and catch up with you!

        <3 Alana

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